Away From Home
I remember during one of my interviews, the interviewer asked me why am I not trying to seek opportunities in another country like the others? I answered that I don't want to because I am so weak that I cannot imagine myself living away from my family. But as days go by, I am starting to contemplate on things until I'd came up to a decision.
It has been 27 months now since I've left my country. And from then on, I started to miss celebrating Christmas, New Years, birthdays and anniversaries with the people I grew up to., my family. I missed my mother's cooking, how my father scratches my back to sleep, how my brothers tease me just because they want to, how my cousins and I plan for a movie night, how we please our uncles to drive for us and at the same time convince our aunts to join and treat us, and how my grandparents call us to fall in line to give their pamasko. But it's not only the good side that I have been missing. I also missed the day when my grandfather decided to be with Him. It was painful that I was not able to bid my last goodbye. It hurts me, really. How I can't be there?
"I am away from home, from them", the words that I have told myself when I ascertained that I am missing a lot. But, do I regret it? Absolutely not. (except those moments that I wished I should be there) Why? Because I was able to stand on my own and it is a kind of a fulfillment. An achievement.
It wasn't easy, though. It's a tough ride, actually. It will take a massive amount of confidence, strength, and courage to be able on your own in a foreign land. I need to have a stout heart and mind to fight the sadness that's eating me up every single day. I struggled but I survived. I'd been through a lot of circumstances that I wanted to quit and go home. But no.
Being away made me stronger and better. It helped me understand things deeper, became matured and responsible enough on handling errands, grown to a person that I wanted to be (still in a process, though), valued things well enough and most especially, realized how precious and worthy they are to me.
At the end of the day, it still makes me sad knowing that I made them feel forlorn for leaving. But I know, they are now proud for what I have racked up and for what I have become.
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